My last post was on September 13th, my birthday of last year. Admittedly, the past few months haven’t exactly been a walk in the park…

Quote of the week:

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a one step. - Lao Tzu

A Few Miles Here And There.

In my lifetime, it has become very apparent that I’ve struggled with many things. These things range anywhere from my lack of self-confidence to not eating breakfast. I’d be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t ashamed of these shortcomings. Now, I know what you’re thinking…I am being too harsh with myself. Unfortunately, the truth can be harsh and that’s my reality.

For those who may not know, the nature of my writing has always been directed to portray a different perspective…a more real perspective. Life isn’t perfect. I want my posts to encapsulate that essence.

Let me share an excerpt from my last post as an example:

The last time I posted was on July 1st, 2018. That’s two and a half months since I’ve made a public post. I have written plenty of pieces since then, but I felt that they became rather painful to write and even more painful to read. I’m not going to sugarcoat this: I was not well. I wanted to shut down. I wanted my stress to end.

Are you seeing the pattern? Somehow I’ve managed to fail at one of the most simple goals I set for myself last year. This goal was to simply make one post per week, no matter how difficult. Spoiler alert, it didn’t happen. To bring this full circle, this is only one reason as to why I’m ashamed.

My failure to stay consistent with my own words has become a catalyst for everything to follow. In fact, things kept getting progressively worse and worse. My very well-being was at stake as I neglected the simple things that made me the most happy.

If you follow me on any social media platforms, you may notice that my posting has been drastically reduced. To clarify, social media isn’t the most important thing to me, but it certainly is a place I go (as do many) to vent or share the experiences in my life. Either way, I even lost the motivation to post until more recently.

“This trip has been a great experience for adding to the photo/video reels, networking, and seeing some fascinating places. Grateful. 🙏 “ - 05/20/19

Let’s digress for a moment. Imagine some of the hardest things in life that you’ve had to endure. Here’s a small list of some examples that this could include:

Illness
Death
Disability
Breakups
Financial Problems
Family Struggles

Again, this is a very small list as compared to the seemingly infinite possibilities of hardships. All of these have one thing in common…they alter our brains and interject with negative thoughts. These thoughts can lead to irrationality which can trigger internal crisis.

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s where I’ve been. For conversation’s sake, I am not comparing myself to others or their situations. I am well aware that there are so many other things that could be worse. The significance of this directly relates to why I’ve been experiencing my own shortcomings.

To be blunt, I’m not happy with where I’m at. I lack motivation. I feel uninspired. I often worry too much about everything. I dwell on the past. I am anxious with simple tasks. I’m unhappy with different situations in regards to my love-life, work, family, etc. You get the picture…this is what I’ve been dealing with for MONTHS.

I’m always hesitant to share these thoughts because I feel as though I haven’t healed or made progress in the eyes of you, my peers, my colleagues, my friends, and my family. The truth is, I know I’ve come a long way, but sometimes my mind is clouded by failures.

I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost relationships. I’ve lost loved ones. This is the nature of life and it sucks. I’m sure many would agree with me on that statement. Acceptance, patience and humility are three virtues that I’ve tried to implement more in my life. These are all essential in my personal situation.

There is another takeaway from all of this though. Did you notice the new sub-header on the home page of my website? It used to read, “This Is My Story.” A few weeks back, I read this and felt that it was too cliche and a bit mainstream. Everyone has their own story, so why was I trying to cast this slogan as my own? To enlighten you, it now reads “A Few Miles Here And There.” This is the new forefront to my mission.

As you can imagine, this goes past literal miles. It involves development and growth beyond understanding. We are all given choices everyday on our own paths, but it won’t always go how we want it to. The world is a big place. You and I can’t expect the world to provide everything we desire or answer the questions we may have. If we believe the world will cater to us, we have to change that thought process.

All in all, I want this to be a reminder that we are all human with very real circumstances. Some days you’ll be on the top of the world and other days you might feel the world crashing down upon you. On my personal path, I know that small steps are a strategy that I can uphold. Maybe I can’t make a post a week, but perhaps I could try once a month? If you can find a compromise with some of the things in your own life that you feel are shortcomings, that’s a great start to getting on the right path.

-Matthew